Ovulation & Neurodivergence - Why it isn’t Always the ‘Good Week’
Neurodivergence + Menstrual Cycle = Choose Your Own Adventure
This week I was chatting to some of my spicy friends, and one of them said to me...
“I thought ovulation was supposed to be the good week. I don’t understand why sometimes I feel completely on edge.”
Saaaaaaame!
Some weeks, I’m focused and sharp. Other weeks, I’m noise-sensitive, weepy, and can’t finish a bloody sentence.
And note to self, I really have to pick when I watch New Amsterdam, because it catches me off guard. A lot.
Even though I’ve got a strong cycle charting practice, I still get caught out sometimes. The sensory stuff, masking, and just-trying-to-hold-it-together energy all creep up on me.
It makes me feel a bit uneasy when I think about how things would be if I weren’t charting.
Just falling headfirst into another week, only to find myself sobbing on the kitchen floor, wondering what the hell is going on.
No ta.
Why Crying Isn’t Drama
You’ll know by now... I cry. A lot.
Not just because I’ve emotionally adopted every character in every medical drama ever written (although... accurate).
It’s because crying is how my nervous system gets things out.
Think boiling pot — the more that lands on me in a day, the more the bubbles rise. Until there’s nowhere else for it to go, and the water spills over.
That’s me. A slightly spicy pan boiling over.
It might look dramatic from the outside, but for me, it’s just how my system resets, regulates, and clears space.
This weekend is a classic example.
When Lunch Turns into a Meltdown
We were going out for lunch at Prezzo (yay for gluten-free bases and lacto-free cheese).
I’d planned ahead and booked a quiet corner and asked for a table away from the door, away from the walkways, and not near the loos.
I felt like I’d covered my bases.
When we arrived, we were seated in the corner buuuuuuut... right next to the open kitchen and a speaker.
Sigh.
At first, I thought it might be okay.
It wasn’t.
The longer I sat there, the louder it all got.
The plates.
The music.
The talking.
The scraping chairs.
THE EVERYTHING.
And it just kept growing.
🧠 Science Snack - Sensory Gating
Many neurodivergent brains (especially autistic and ADHD) aren't able to filter noise the same way neurotypical ones do.
If you're not wired this way, you might be able to tune out the plates clashing or the background music and just focus on the person in front of you.
Not for me and my spicy friends. We get all of it, all at once (and no, more exposure won’t “fix” it — it’s just how our brains are wired).
It’s called reduced sensory gating.
Sounds fancy.
Feels exhausting.
The Overload
So I took myself off to the loo to breathe.
Upstairs was cooler, quieter, and a lot more chilled. I came back down and asked the lovely, endlessly patient Matthias if we could move.
He asked the waitress, who looked mildly irritated but went to check.
It took 10 minutes.
By which point, I was starting to fray.
Think frog-in-a-pan, except I knew I was in the pan.
We finally moved, but by then, it was too late. The familiar salty sting crept in, and the flood of unstoppable tears were on their way.
Cue second trip to the loos.
I needed to breathe and calm, because the only thing that could make this worse right now was a full-blown meltdown in the middle of Prezzo on a Saturday lunchtime, brought on by the fact that I was already crying in Prezzo on a Saturday lunchtime.
This was supposed to be a nice day.
And of course, the Weirdo in the Back (aka Inner Critic / RSD – Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria) was right there, ready to chime in with helpful thoughts like...
“You’re meant to be a capable adult. A professional. And now you’re crying in a restaurant like a toddler having a tantrum because she couldn't sit where she wanted to.”
Brilliant.
This Is What Living with Autism & ADHD Looks Like
Yes, on the other side of it is brilliance, creativity, focus, organisation, and getting loads done.
But this?
This is debilitating and disabling.
And the most confounding part...
It all happened mid-cycle.
Peak energy!
I know!
“But that’s the good bit, isn’t it?” I hear you say.
Technically, yes. Ovulation energy can feel amazing — social, vibrant, fun-loving, ideas and voice notes flying.
But sometimes, that same energy tips into too much. And it becomes overstimulating.
So if your nervous system is already stretched, it doesn’t take much to wobble.
So yes, sometimes, even at the high point of your cycle, you can end up crying in the loos at Prezzo.
Funzzies!
How Hormones Shape Neurodivergent Experience
If you are — or you support — people in your life or at work who are neurodivergent, it’s worth knowing how much hormonal shifts can shape our experience of the world.
They affect…
🧠 Sensory Sensitivities - Sensitivity to sound, light, textures, and movement can fluctuate across the cycle, often worse mid- or late-cycle.
🧠 Emotional Regulation - Hormone changes can drive more intense emotional responses and mood swings.
🧠 Executive Functioning - Planning, organising, remembering, and switching tasks are all harder when hormones shift gears.
🧠 Anxiety + Overwhelm - Especially during the luteal phase, when progesterone peaks and stress tolerance tanks.
🧠 Focus and Attention - Concentration can dip sharply in the premenstrual phase, which can feel both frustrating and upsetting.
Supporting Neurodivergent People (and Yourself)
So if you want to support neurodivergent people well (including yourself), offer things like…
✔️ Quiet spaces
✔️ Patience with changing needs
✔️ Time to process (without pressure)
✔️ Understanding that what worked once might not work today
✔️ Flexibility to adapt, even if the first plan was ‘perfect’ on paper
✔️ Emotional safety to wobble, reset, and try again
Because even with accommodations, sometimes the overwhelm still sneaks up.
It can take a while to realise something isn’t working, and longer still to act on it.
Just knowing that neurodivergent people aren’t being awkward, dramatic, or picky, but are simply processing, makes all the difference.
Sometimes we don’t know something’s too much until we’re already in it.
And by then, we’re already on the way to the loos, trying to convince ourselves we’re not being a complete drama queen.
Again.
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