Do You Tell Your Boss It’s Period Pain??
Are you honest with your boss when you take time off for your period?
A conversation I had recently had made me realise just how many of us are still hiding behind vague excuses when we're actually dealing with our periods.
I was having a chat with an HR pal the other week and she shared...
"I used to work in a male-dominated environment and was terrified of showing any weakness. I didn’t let myself experience those things."
This person recently had an epiphany about how deeply ingrained this fear is. It got me thinking...
How many of us still hide our menstrual wellness for fear of being judged or penalised?
I get it. Not every workplace is safe for this kind of conversation.
But that’s exactly why we need to start changing the narrative, one honest conversation at a time.
Why Be Honest About Period Leave?
We Need Data to Make the Case
When we don’t tell our workplaces the real reason we’re off, they can’t track it. And if they can’t track it, they can’t support it.
Without naming it, menstrual-related absence stays invisible.
But when HR teams can see the bigger picture? Then we’ve got something to work with.
To Tackle the Stigma, We Have to Talk About It
Menstruation is still taboo in many workplaces. Avoiding the topic just gives stigma more room to grow.
Having those awkward, uncomfortable conversations (where safe and appropriate, of course) is essential for change.
The more we share and normalise, the less ‘weakness’ will be associated with something so natural.
It Encourages a Culture of Transparency
When you’re honest, it encourages others to do the same. That creates a ripple effect of trust and understanding.
And of course, when the effects of better menstrual health and support on performance and well-being can actually be seen? Well, it's harder to ignore!
Over time, this becomes part of the culture, not just a one-off brave moment.
👉 If you want to hear more on this, I had a great chat with Aime Ruston on my The Bloody Truth, LinkedIn Live series, "Culture & Cramps: Should You Have to Fake a Cold?" — watch it here.
What If You’re the Manager?
My HR friend also shared...
"I'm also worried that there may be people in my team struggling with their menstrual health too. I have my suspicions, but I'm not sure, and I want to know how to broach that conversation without overstepping or being intrusive."
It’s a bloody brilliant question. One I loved, because I know so many people have this thought, but aren’t bold enough to do anything about it.
That’s the thing about taboo and shame, right?! It keeps us silent.
But the truth is, there are people quietly suffering all around you, and if you manage people in any capacity, these are the conversations that need to take place.
And they don’t need to be intrusive.
This is where we lean into curiosity and compassion.
Two skills all leaders need to be comfortable with!
The truth is, you can't really know how your team members are really feeling.
And sometimes, the biggest struggles are the quietest ones.
I’ve spoken to plenty of people who feel the need to "tough it out" because they don’t want to seem like they’re slacking when they need to rest due to menstrual symptoms.
This is the reality for many people in the workplace.
They push through pain, fatigue, and brain fog because they don’t want to be seen as ‘difficult’ or ‘not a team player.’
And honestly, current workplace culture hasn’t exactly made space for honest conversations about menstrual health, has it?
So, how do you check in without making someone feel singled out?
And how do you offer support without prying?
Here are a few of my top tips...
Create a culture of openness, not awkwardness.
Casual, ongoing conversations about well-being set the tone.
If you only bring up support when someone is visibly struggling, it can feel performative.
Normalise talking about menstrual and mental health as part of everyday conversations.
Then, back those conversations up with flexible working, rest, and reasonable adjustments so people know it’s ok to ask.
Our brains process menstrual symptoms in the same way as other physical discomforts; pain is real, fatigue is real, and pushing through isn’t always the answer.
Swap ‘Do you need help?’ for ‘What would be helpful?’
The first can feel like an interrogation; the second invites autonomy.
Giving people the option to share (or not) puts control in their hands.
🌶️ Spicy Caveat
Answering open-ended questions and processing verbal info on the spot isn’t always easy for neurodivergent team members.
If you know you have neurodivergent colleagues, consider offering a few suggestions upfront... but always invite autonomy first.
Those of us with PDA profiles thank you.
👉 PDA stands for Pathological Demand Avoidance, though many in the neurodivergent community prefer "Persistent Demand for Autonomy" — it feels a whole lot less pathologising.
Try: “Would you like me to give you a few options to think about? Feel free to come back later when you’ve had time to process.”
Lead with observation, not assumption.
Instead of: “You’ve seemed off lately, is everything ok?”
Try: “I’ve noticed you haven’t quite been yourself the last few days. I’m here if there’s anything you need... just let me know.”
It acknowledges their experience without making them feel watched.
Even better, put systems in place so support doesn’t rely on individuals.
Policies, training, and clear communication around workplace adjustments make a difference.
Studies show that workplaces with flexible, supportive policies around menstrual health see higher engagement and productivity.
No one should have to rely on having an ‘understanding’ manager to get basic support.
There’s a fine line between self-care and survival mode.
If we don’t have honest conversations, we’ll keep surviving instead of thriving.
You’re not alone in this. Whether you’re taking time off, holding space for a team member, or just trying to figure it out, it’s valid.
Let’s stop faking colds to get the care we actually need.
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